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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Back to School; End of a Friendship?

     It's that time of year; people are just getting a feel for their professors, finding their way around campus, and starting to have a boatload of homework to do.  Yes, I am talking about the university and college students, the future of this world.  Yet just because you go back to school, maybe even work as well and you're ridiculously busy, does that mean you just ignore all your friends?  Just leave them to stand in the background, not return their texts, not have time to see them?  If they really mean something to you, wouldn't you find time for them in your life?  
In fairness, let me start by saying I have never been to university or college; nevertheless, even if I was up to my eyebrows in work and studying, I would always make time for the people I love.   So it makes me wonder when a friend says to me that just because school has started, she doesn't have time to even text me.   Now, going to  university is hard work, there's no doubt about that.  The work load that some people take is crazy, and they will spend a lot of their free time studying.  Once you add work to the mix, you in for on busy life.
  So while on the one hand, you certainly may not have time to go out with friends every night, you can't tell me you don't have any time for them at all.  As I said, I have never been in this situation, but I have worked in UBC for two years; let me tell you, that is one social place!   People spend time with their friends, everybody has a smart phone, they somehow find time for their social life.   The reason for that is simple; friends are important and we love them, therefore we make time for them.  
  There's an incredible difference between high school and university, yet after all, they are both still schools.  And we all remember high school; spending time with friends, hanging out between class, after class, on weekends....well, university is just a bigger high school, albeit one that's ten times more serious.  You need to do well in your classes; your grades need to be almost perfect just to get in university in the first place.  Nevertheless, just because you're busy with school, it doesn't mean your social life comes to a grinding halt; that you start ignoring your friends.  There's twenty four hours in a day, you can't convince me that, apart from the six hours a night you're sleeping (if you're lucky), that you spend all the remaining time studying and in school.   Nope, if your friends are important, you will find a way to make time for them.
Even with a stack of work taller than you,
there's always time for the ones you love
One of my core principles as I've said many times before is; communication is the foundation of any relationship.  So when you go back to school and ninety nine percent of the talking with your friends stops, how can you really say you are their friend; that you value the relationship?    I've been crazy busy lately with getting ready for school and moving, and when I am in class eight hours a day, the gym for three, and working on the weekends, my life will be even more insane.   Yet even with all that, if someone I love wants to talk, I will stop whatever I am doing to talk to them.  When I am in class, I will have three breaks and will always check my phone; when I am shopping or doing chores at home, my phone will be by my side.  If I am in the middle of something and I get a text from my friend saying she wants to talk, I will stop whatever I am doing at the moment; even if I am in class I will duck out.  The reason?  Simple, I love her and she means more to me than anything.  Same with my family.  That's why I can't understand why you tell me with class starting, the talking has to stop.   I could easily interpret that to mean that, while I may be your friend, I am really not that important to you; that you don't value me enough to take a few minutes out of your day to talk.
  Relationships are the best part of life, and we wouldn't enjoy life without them.  Yet they're also work; they require commitment and dedication.  Without those fundamental aspects included, the relationship becomes obsolete; you go from being friends to just texting someone occasionally to say hi.   While in a perfect world, the bond and loyalty between good friends should endure a few years of school, when it comes to love, nothings perfect.  There's always a limit to how much people will put up with; the hard, but essential thing you have to know, is what point that is.

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