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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Cynical About Love? Me?

   It was only one comment, yet I'm still wondering about it; I had a girl come to look at the apartment the other day who apparently read this blog, concluding I had a cynical view on love.   Well, let's explore that shall we.

   Now, firstly let me say, considering the relationship I have in my life, as well as the one that just ended, of course I have every right to have a cynical view when it comes to love.  Yet I don't believe that has made me a total cynic.
   While I certainly don't want to go through another relationship like this one ever again, it's still one I stay in; one I have fought for.  Yes, I must admit, there are times when it really is beyond me why I put up with it, with the streneous circumstances that the love of my life has decreed.    Then again, when someone has the ability to put a smile on your face and make your heart skip a beat just from a text, that is something worth fighting for right?  I would certainly say so.
    Still, the question stands; am I a cynic in that regard?  When it comes to the girl I love, I just may be; for I know that she will never feel the same about me, that there is always going to be that part of her that works hard to keep me at a distance.   Yet that hasn't made me give up on love; if anything it has shown me that I am capable of being in a loving relationship, something that I may have had my doubts about before.
   Yes, I know now that it's possible, yet I also know how much it can hurt to love someone as well.  So, the question is; do I take that leap again?  Do I keep my hopes up and keep looking for those someones to love and to be loved by in return?   Or should I just throw in the towel early; just say a big Fu*k You to love, as it were?  For while love can be the greatest thing in your life; it seems to me it's more often than not like a large empty ocean, in which you are desperately treading water, keeping your head above it trying to look for that one person for you; hoping and praying you find them before running out of energy and drowning in an ocean, which for the most part, is devoid of people, of love.
  On the other hand, the human instinct to survive is strong; perhaps the strongest emotion only second to saving the ones we love.  In that regard, I am reassured, that there's still time to settle down and start a family, even as the minutes tick by.  You just need to keep your head above the water; and the more people you have cheering you on the easier that will be.   So no, I don't think I am completely cynical when it comes to love, for even if you are out there alone, looking for that person to save you from drowning in that large ocean that is life, you always have God looking out for you; always know that He has already planned out your destiny, and just have to follow life wherever it takes you, having faith that everything will work out in the end.

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