Gadget by The Blog Doctor.
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Sunday, September 4, 2011

Is It Possible to Miss Someone This Much? Love Her this Much?

     It's funny, I should be used to this feeling; I have been friends with this girl for months now.  It's a long distance relationship by her choice, yet everyday we talk; for hours sometimes.  So how can it be possible to miss her just as much everyday, to break into a grin ear to ear every time we talk?  Logically, isn't the body supposed to adapt to any conditions?  Am I mistaken or is the brain part of my body?  I have no words to explain this phenomenon, other than my deep profound love for her.

I Can't Help Falling in Love with You

It amazes me; it really shouldn't be
That I should love you so
That I can't let you go
For I know you weren't meant for me
Yet I fight for you; how can it be?
Everyday, you still take my breath away
Everything you do; everything you say
Even though I go through the day
Wishing you were here with me
Yet our relationship is long distance
How can it be?
For to not see you isn't my choice
But I have to respect your voice
When you say you need it this way
So I wake up and go through my day
Wishing you were here with me
But most of all happy, happy that you love me
For even though I'd rather have it my way
You still make me smile; the best part of my day


    I'm not sure how I allowed myself to feel this way; I said it was OK to love her, and my emotions ran wild from there on.   This is the first time I've been in a long distance relationship, even though it's a platonic one, and I can say with absolute certainty; it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.
  For not only don't I see her, we don't talk over the phone either; our whole friendship is conducted over text and Facebook!  Every six to eight months she lets me visit her, but that's the extent of physically seeing her.  To love a girl this much and be in such a restricted relationship is challenging, to say the least.  There's not a day in my life when I don't miss her; when I wouldn't give my soul to see her.  Yet I've realized lately that I can't live without her, even if that means playing the whole thing by her rules.
     Yet what do you do in a situation like this?  Well, there's nothing you can do.  Breaking up with her isn't an option; for a short time it was looking like a reality and I've never been more scared, more empty in my life.  So no, that's out of the question.  Likewise, it seems like the possibility of us having a "normal" friendship is not going to ever be.  Firstly, how can you do that when one doesn't want to see you in person?  Secondly, my love for her, some might say, surpasses that of a everyday friend.   While I disagree, for it's only I who truly know how I feel for her, other people I've told about her felt otherwise.   For she truly is my world; the only person to bring an instant smile to my face every time.   She's one of those people who can leave me speechless just by the sight of her, even though I worked with her for two years.
    She has the ability to bring out almost every emotion in me; yet never anger, nothing even close.  I've never had that happen before; if we do fight, she will be mad at me while I just sit there, still mesmerized by her being.  I really don't know how this keeps happening, for there was a time when I told myself I would forget it.  It was a bit earlier on in the relationship and I had realized I wouldn't be seeing much of her and it would be better to go back to thinking of her as just a casual friend.  This is what I told myself anyways; quite the opposite happened.  Since then, my love for her has grown exponentially, leaving me to wonder how on earth one women can have such an effect on me.
   I hope one day she will change her mind and we can become closer, the way I want to be.   For now, she is one of the most important people on this planet to me, and I will always fight for her.   It's the most frustrating thing in the world to be held at a distance from the one person you love the most, yet it's a blessing just to have her in my day; to have her love me.  For love really never gives up hope, and right now all my love is for her; my best friend, the girl I love.

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