Gadget by The Blog Doctor.
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Friday, September 2, 2011

A Night of Cursing; F**K IKEA!

I Couldn't Have Said It Better!

  I am just shaking my head right now; how the hell did I get sucked in to buying stuff at Ikea again!  Being hampered with a nasty cold, I am not sure what compelled me to decide to put together my new desk tonight.  It must have been pure boredom, or maybe I just wanted to test my new attitude of not getting worked up over little things to the limit.  After all, how hard can it really be to put together an Ikea desk?
  If only I had known; having put together their stuff before I darn well should have.  I set out in the evening to do it.  Everything out of the box, instructions in hand, it didn't look like this was going to be as bad as I had thought.  Wrong!
  I went about screwing and hammering, cursing that there were no written instructions.  I'm supposed to put together a huge desk just from pictures?  Are you f**king kidding me!  But what the heck, I'm a man, I should be able to do this sh*t.  First thing I realized was how much bigger this desk looked than at the store; holy cow was it ever big!  Oh well, it's a big room; no worries.  
  Already muttering obscenities under my breath, I put the first screws in.  By the time I had got the first piece together, I was thinking maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as I thought.  So I plugged on, slowly but surely getting a million pieces of metal and wood to resemble something looking like a desk.  My head was pounding and I wished I had asked my handy man uncle to help me, but too late for that.  The part of me that didn't want to leave a job unfinished took over.
  An hour and much cursing later, I still hadn't got close to finishing it.  I was getting tired, my head was pounding; I wanted to just say "f**k it!".  Yet still, I kept going; really, what else did I have to do tonight?  I somehow managed to get the top together with the drawers, then started on the legs.  The legs were fairly easy, and I got them on quickly.  Then came the drawer; that was the major f**k up.   As they had two side options for it to go on, of course it wasn't until I got the whole thing together and upright that I realized I had put it on the wrong side for me, being right handed.  Well, sh*t!  
  Next was the cabinet on the side.  Since I already had the drawer on the wrong side, and they went together, this too went on the left side.  Much cursing and screaming later I got it on, only to realize I had put the handle on the far side.  Daaaammmmnnniiittt!!!  Getting extremely tired now, I took that off and put it on the right side.   Finally, I was done!
  Or so I thought; sliding open the drawer, I realized I had done something wrong again, causing it to stick at a certain point and not go past that.   That was it!!  F**k it!!!  I was done for the night; hopefully maybe I will be able to solicit a helpful hand from my uncle, who has been great during all this moving stuff.  I am dead tired now, my throat is killing me, and I have a headache and stuffy nose; I am just soooo freaking glad I decided to purchase from IKEA!  

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