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Monday, August 8, 2011

The Argument

  No relationship is perfect; we all know that is true.  Perhaps I know that more than most.  Nevertheless, it rips me up when I am having a dispute with someone I love.  My stress level goes way up, and I feel awful about whatever it is I did.  Sometimes, I have to just wait out the storm; it would not help to talk about it.  Yet that doesn't mean I don't try; everybody reading this knows how I feel about communication in a relationship.
  All friends have arguments, it's just the way it is.  The key to a good relationship is to make up quickly and put it behind you both. Easier said than done. Especially when it's the same issue that keeps getting between you two.  Yet you have to just keep talking; apologizing, grovelling, whatever you need to do to make things right, until such a time as the offended friend forgives you.  Maybe not the most fun way to spend your time, but something that has to be done all the same. And while it has to be done, you also have to want to do it.  For there's no reason to say you're sorry if you don't feel it; no reason to fix a relationship you don't care much about.
  The early arguments are the hardest; they're the ones much more likely to end up with one of you saying "it's over" and meaning it.  Whereas in a older relationship you have created a bond of love and respect, when the relationship is still "young", there's none of the love, the caring, the respect, holding it together through the storm.  It's the tree analogy all over again.
   So be careful when the relationship is still young; you're just a five inch tree, easily crushed or blown away.  Be caring, be patient, eventually you will grow into a mighty oak; strong enough to withhold the fiercest of storms.

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